Ich hab gerade mehrere "Geschichten" über Gefühle, Gedanken etc bei vor und nach dem Aids test gelesen, wobei mir dieser eine hier aufgefallen ist

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The reason I had an HIV test in the first place was because I suddenly got quite ill. I had glandular fever-type symptoms and I kept going back and forth to the hospital for tests. And then they said they wanted to do yet more tests, one of which was for HIV. There was no counselling, no backgroun dinformation, they just told me not to worry about it, because I was 17 and had only been with tho guys. So they ran it as if they were testing for anything else. Six daty later they asked me to come bakc in for more blood tests, and that wasthe first time that I had an inkling that the results might be positive. But i only really thought that for about ten seconds because I felt that I would instinctively know if I was. And naively, I thought that if either of the guys I'd been with were positive, they would have told me.

My mum drove me to the hospital. As soon as I walked in, the doctor saw me straight away, which I thought was pretty strange. My mum sat down next to me and I was about to roll up my sleeve ready to give more blood samples and they just told me there and then that I was HIV positive. The doctor gace me a hug but I couldn't cry. My mum, though, burst into tears. Suddenly I felt like I had let my family down. At that moment I knew my life would never be the same again. But at the same time it didn't sink in - I Just went into shock and thought that I was going to die. The doctors totally brushed over the reality of what I was going to deal with, telling me that people live for 10 years without medication and that there are strong medicines when you do become sick.
I remembered everything they had said, so when I went back to school in September a few weeks later and got ill with pneumonie, I felt that the ten years of good health I was promised was a lie. It took a bit of selfdestruction and a lot of drinking during that time before I was actually able to grieve for myself.

After my A-levels, I got accepted onto an internship at UCSF (University of California, San Francisco), within fundraising and development for the AIDS health project. I met young kids who were positive and proud of who they were. We would go into schools and these kids who were even younger than me would stand up and talk in front of 700 children about their experiences. My time in America changed my whole perspective and helped me get on with life. So when I came back to this country I set up Health Initiatives for youth that was based on the things i learnt there: we offer support for young people and go into schools and prisons running workshops.
What I've learnt from all of this is that no matter how traumatic things are, there is always a lesson there - you can always turn it into a stronger force for god. I was one of the most insecure, fragile person when I was diagnosed but with the help of my family I managed to get through. Six years later my health is good. I Don't want to play down the realities of being HIV, but it doesn't have to be the end of your life, sometimes - and particularly if you get tested early - it can be the beginning
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